This paper presents a comparative analysis of attitudes towards children of parents who have children with disabilities and parents who have children with normal development. Social adaptation of children with disabilities are usually complicated by their emotional background and negative behavior. Here the author is trying to bring the idea that the features of parents toward the children and their attitudes towards their children have affected for the development of the child. It shows that the features of the impact of the requirements and expectations of parents to children are not awareness by parents. In most cases, it is revealed that parents of children with disabilities do not want to perceive adequately opportunities of their children.
Recently there has been an increase in the number of children with various special needs, learning disabilities and school adaptation, disturbances in emotional-personal sphere and other features.
The birth of a child with disabilities (mental, physical or mental) is a very serious problem for his family. In this regard, often the family is going through a severe crisis, since it is becoming impossible of its existence in former way, and it is required a deep restructuring of the entire structure of both inside and outside of the family relationship. The future of the family and the child's future — how he will feel himself: as loved and cherished member of the family, and later of a society or as an unnecessary burden — depend on successfully overcome of this crisis [1; 52]. Studies on this issue revealed that improper family upbringing leads to aggravation of the severity of general mental underdevelopment of a child with special needs. And there are results of a survey which shows that the relations of majority families toward the mentally retarded children is not conducive to their intellectual and social development, parents are often inadequately assessed psychophysical capabilities of child with retardation in development: either overestimate or, conversely, underestimate them. In addition, parents are prone to excessive paternal care or to ignore the child.
Implementation of the normal life cycle of the family faces with significant obstacles, thereby it needs reorganization of family roles. Regardless of the actual age mental retarded child remains in the role of a young child than actually he is, so parents are forced to stay in the role of «nurses». If restructuring in family roles and relationships is fail, there are two possibilities: the separation the member of the family who breaks habitual life of family by territorial detach or family breakdown [2; 20]. It is also accompanied with changing in emotional status of parents: emotional alienation from the child, fear, a sharp drop in selfesteem, irritability, self-incrimination, i.e. prevalence of destructive feelings about the child. A. Adler pointed out that the sense of his own impotence psychological or social, guilt, etc., all these about the compensation of inferiority complex. Very often the parents of children with disabilities demonstrate overcompensation behavior concerning to the child.
M.M. Semago, N.Y. Semago formulate two types of problems that must be decided by psychologists in this situation.
The first type includes the creation of psychological conditions for adequate perception by parents the information related to the special features of development of the child, psychological readiness for longterm work on development of children with special needs, correction and education of them.
The second question is related with the exemption of parents from guilt and the necessity to overcome the stress state of the family, including maternal depression, creating and maintaining as much as possible the normal climate in the family [3; 56].
Social adaptation of children with disabilities, for the most part, the harmful effects of their feelings and behavior. These anomalies are due to early diagnosis and treatment in the special institutions, defects of education in their families and social recession. Misbehavior of the children with disabilities is also due to the organic weakening of the nervous system [4; 26, 5; 13, 6; 892].
Negative result always brings to concerns, anxiety, forms pathological features in the person — one becomes an introvert, passive, doesn’t participate in activities, assaults or, on the contrary, shows his best, curry favour with the adults or those who is stronger . This gives the way to obedience, obscenity, angriness.
In such families adverse child's stage of development and all sorts of defects in him/her requires psychotherapy work of speech pathologist (or psychologist) [7; 101].
Family do not always understand the personal qualities of their children, too; they either appreciate the child too high,or don’t appreciate at all. And mostly the child’s ability is not fully estimated. Some parents don’t believe in the results of this treatment and education. If some of them do not want to follow the instructions, others do not have the ability to work. There are also parents who would like to work with the child, and they have possibilities, but they really do not know what to start with and how to do it properly [8; 36].
In this regard, the goal of our work is to compare relationship in the families between the parents and their children with disabilities and relationship between the parents and children in normal families.
This empirical research on the above given data was collected. In the study of parents of children with disabilities we have used «Parents relation inquirer» and PARI — parental attitude research instrument.
«Parents relation inquirer» is defined as a system of different feelings of adults towards the children. This technique is aimed at a comprehensive study of parental attitudes, the relations of parents to different sides of family life (family roles). The methodology allocated 23-dimension feature on different sides of parent’s relations to the child and family life. There are 8 signs of describing the attitude to the role of the family and 15 relate to the parent-child relationship. These 15 signs are divided into the following three groups: 1 — optimal emotional contact, 2 — excessive emotional distance with the child, 3 — excessive focus on the child.
Psychological approach to the parents ratio is kind of pedagogical and social instruction for the parents that includes rational and emotional components. It includes five points that clarify parents ratio various aspects:
- The acceptance-rejection of a child. This indicator determines if they are positive or negative to the child.
- Here, the adults try to consolidate their true interests of the child, they try to understand his life .
- The adults attempt to integrate the child’s life or vice versa, try to keep the psychological distance between the child and the adults.
- This indicator shows how adults control the children, how democratic or authoritarian they are.
- Failures in child’s This indicator shows adults’attitude towards the child’s abilities, property, illness, shortage, lack of success.
Psychologically, the parent access for its rational, emotional behaviour components that implements educational and social orientation.
In accordance with the purpose of research, we have formed the study samples. It includes the 40 men and 40 women. The main criterion for sampling was the presence of children aged 6 to 10 years in a married couple. We have formed 4 samples: the first sample consisted of mothers of children with disabilities; second sample is fathers of children with disabilities; the third consisted of mothers of children with normal development; and fourth sample — a fathers of children with normal development.
The results are illustrated in the following figure.
According to the figure we can reveal that mothers of the children with disabilities, acceptance-rejection scale scored an average of fifteen points. It means that in this group of tested children there are two-sided feelings about their children. That is, on the one hand,they take into account the individuality of the child, they accept him as it is, on the other hand, they feel angry ,because they are not fully confident in the future of the child.
Next, the scale of cooperation. According to the answers of the tested mums average value of three points is reached. This means that these mothers of the children with disabilities feel really upset because they can’t perform the role of a good teacher.
Six scores the scale of symbiosis. It’s high degree.Which means that mothers and children can not handle the psychological distance between themselves and always wanted to be close to the child, are always ready to be a defense in a failure, to carry out basic needs.
Supervision scale got 6 points, which is proved by the above shown scale become the object of high level of demand, in order to protect the child, demanding strict obedience, it has been excessively authoritarian.
The scale of the failures of the Child shows a high level of mothers of children with disabilities, that is 7 points. They protect the child with all their mind, and therefore the child's interests, addicts, thoughts, feelings, are not superfluous for them.
The following analysis of the No. 2 refers to a group of fathers of children with disabilities that answered the given questionnaire of this methodology.
Acceptance-rejection scale of the child was 8 points. It’s a low level. This means that adults are of negative feelings towards the child.. They are hurt, anger, disappointments, etc. This means these children won’t be successful, they don’t have future.
Cooperation scale shows 5 points, it’s an average level. That is, on the one hand, they are confident in the child’s abilities, on the other hand, they seem not to hope for the future.
The highest score of 7 on a scale of symbiosis group indicates that the group of adults can’t build psychological distance with the children.
Figure. Data of Parental Relations toward the Children in 1,2,3,4 Samples
And supervision of the fathers of children with disabilities scale shows 3 points, the average level.
In his relationship with a child under certain circumstances he makes the child do what he demands, that is becomes authoritarian; in some cases,when needed father lets the child behave on his own.
Failures to determine the relationship of the child scale is 2 points only. It’s low level. They claim their son's failure was accidental, which contravenes the data on the scales above. This is contradictory because on the one hand, the child’s disability don’t give father hope, on the other hand,the adult still has hope that the situation might change in the future.
No. 3 Select — mothers of normal children. No. 4 Select shows fathers of the normal or unlimited opportunities children.
Acceptance — rejection scales No. 3 No. 4 show 9 points and 10 points .That’s a medium level. This means that parents recognize the individuality of the children on the one hand, on the other hand, in some cases, they have expressed lack of confidence.
Cooperation scale tells that mothers are on the medium level, while fathers express low level which means that they are reluctant to be on an equal relationship terms.
Symbiosis scale .Both mothers and fathers show low level, two points only. In other words, there’s a significant psychological remote between the child and adult.The parents are not very much interested in the needs of the children.
Scale of supervision test gives the same low level as before. This is compatible with the above scale data declares about a lack of supervision in respect of a child by an adult.
My failures scale group of mothers and fathers again show low-level. They think their children’s failures happen accidentally; they believe nothing of this kind happens in future.
To review the results of this approach, there are significant differences between each tested group: group 1 and 3, group 1 and 4, group 2 and group 4, 3 and 4. Now the parents of children with disabilities and the normal children's parents, when compared to the values in between, it is not superfluous to say that they have a high level of differences.
Further results obtained by the second method does not contradict the data that appeared earlier. First of all it should be noted that mothers of children with disabilities is strongly depend on the family, on the other words, the vital interests of these women are limited to the domestic sphere and family needs. Then in this group of women it is tended to express high level of sense of sacrifice. They are characterized by the perception of family conflict as a normal phenomenon of life. In their opinion the authority of parents in the family must be absolute, that mean if they are sacrificing themselves for family needs, they require for that absolute obedience from the child. It is obvious that mothers of children with disabilities so compensate the frustration of his life situation. In the majority most of them are not satisfied with the support of their husbands in this situation and feel lonely.
With regard to children the subjects in this sample show that children must adhere to a passive role in the family. So as a result they do not make an effort for the development of children's activity. Indicator of emotional distance towards children in this group have medium level. This suggests that for mothers emotional communication with own children is not as relevant. But despite of this they are too march focused on the child.
Mothers of children with disabilities do not want children to grow up to fast. Probably it is due to the fact that deep down they are afraid of the future of their child.
Fathers of children with disabilities are also denied their needs for the sake of the family. I.e. the interests of the family are placed above individual. As mothers fathers also are characterized by sacrifice, the perception of their child as a passive and feeble person. While most of the child care they shift to mothers. At the same time they are not satisfied with the own status and their place which occupy in the family. They are characterized by strategy of avoiding problem, acute situations. However the fathers compeering with mothers are want to their children have grown up quickly. An additional it can be said that the subjects in this group show tough style of parenting.
In the control group neither mothers nor fathers of normally developing children are not inclined to sacrifice themselves for the sake of the family. Fathers take a more authoritative parenting style here. In contrast to the parents of children with disabilities, this group of parents are not overly concentrated on the child.
Thus, the parents of the children with disabilities are more strict to their children and expect the children to do what they say in comparison with the parents of normal children.
Parents of children with disabilities want them to be dependent on the parents. The parents of normal children give freedom to their children to a certain extent.
Most parents believe it is important to be authoritative.
Mothers of the children with disability think that they are alone with their problems (to grow and bring up their children) and they are afraid of their children’s growth. On the contrary fathers want their children to grow faster.
In comparison with fathers mothers do not like the idea of growing, developing and becoming independent of their children.
In most cases, the parents of the children with disabilities tend to reject his/her real state.
So parents of children with disabilities are not realize that their children could be on their own. Therefore they more watch over and make their children dependence from parents. This is achieved by an authoritarian style of interaction with the child.
Mothers of children with disabilities have more fear about the future life of their child than fathers.
Because of this, they do not want their children to grow up very quickly.
All parents are feel that they should be respected and require children to be submitted to them.
They overly inflate the abilities of the child and demand the child too high tasks that do not meet the requirements. This means that the parents do not realize what impact occurs.
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