Receipt of child to school-this is a fundamentally new phase in his life. The first year at school is not only one of the most difficult stages in a child's life, but also a kind of probation for parents: it was during this period that requires maximum participation in the life of the child, as well as the absence of psychologically savvy approach, parents themselves often become perpetrators of school stress in children. Special attention is required from parents. In the family should be a good, moral atmosphere of respect for each other. Parental influence is currently the strongest, most effective. From parents, to teach depends a great deal of autonomy, organisation, accuracy. Particular attention should be paid to the proper daily routine first-grader. The first year at school is a difficult period. Sometimes parents can provoke school stress, wanting immediate success, not taking into account psychological characteristics of the child. The initial training period for first-graders is difficult enough because it causes the restructuring of all lifestyles and activities. This article discusses the successful adaptation of the child to the school, she's positively connected with such characteristics of interaction between parent and child, which contribute to the effectiveness of these relations and create favourable conditions for the harmonious development of the personality of the child.
Entering school, children fail to pursue a new social status at once. It takes a long period of primary school adaption which includes preschool childhood and school life. All newcomers at school, face various difficulties and later cause serious problems for schoolchildren in learning process. Children embark on a new social stage of development, with entering the school life, which requires having quite difficult psychological adjustment.
Difficulties can arise for some reasons: lack of experience at school; insufficient preparation by parents; individual characteristics of the child: isolation, shyness, aggression, etc. The readiness for school is not only writing and reading abilities, as some parents understand, but it is also physical, mental, psychological, moral readiness for learning.
The first year of school is not only one of the most difficult stages in the child`s life, but also a kind of probationary period for the parents. Firstly, their participation in the child`s life is required for this period. Secondly, at the beginning of training all their defects are clearly noticeable. Thirdly, parents have good intentions, but due to absence of psychological approach they cause problems of child`s stresses at school.
At the same time, the foundation of the child's attitude to school and learning builds in the 1st grade. In order to pass this stage of children’s lives more successful for their parents need to know and take into account mental and physiological state of children arising from the beginning of training in the school [1].
The period of development, acceptance of the educational situation under favorable conditions lasts for 2 months (the entire first quarter, and sometimes the entire first year). Loving and caring parents, relying on a highly valued child opportunity «to be schoolchild» should help him to explore the complex of school situations and educational activities:
You cannot «abandon» a child in this difficult situation, expecting that he independently will manage with it, but the other extreme is also harmful interception, choking child`s initiative.
Parents’ support can be provided by way of increased interest in the subtleties of school commandments, in giving the collection of a portfolio,
«Outbreak of conformism», the desire to finish everything exactly «as teacher said», is associated with the very special value of rules and norms for a new schoolchild and must be accepted with understanding.
Plaints and concerns about the imperfection of teachers and school programs should be postponed until better times.
It is necessary to pay attention on the character of those values, anxieties and emotional accents which are transmitted to a child in a free communication: «You haven’t been scolded today, have you?» – the value of obedience, «And who else got a five in the class?» – The value of prestige, «Isn’t it blowing from windows?» – Everyday values, etc [1].
The years of primary school is characterized by the most intensive human formation at this period a child learns not only to work but also to live with rich and spiritual life. This period psychologists call sensitive, because it is the most favorable for the development and the formation of personality.
Many pedagogically neglected children with a sick nervous system come in the first grade and causes can be different:
- Weak overall development
- Lack of communication with parents
- Conflicts in the family
- One child in the family, inferior communication
- Excessive love for the child
Wonderful children grow up in families where parents really love each other and their children and find time for all family members. Such children can be seen right away and in their souls there are peace and quiet, and they believe in good in teachers and people.
Sometimes parents who are obsessed with love for children try not to cloud the joy of childhood, and try to insure the child not only from real, but also from imaginary accidents. They do not notice that their love can be harmful for growing child: parents deprive children of independence, thereby form selfishness. There are also some parents who try to fulfil any whim of a child, until the child goes to the first grade. Studying is the first labor, first responsibility, but not all parents try to inspire their children about the significance of it [2].
The problems that pupils face are often the result of errors admitted by parents in the upbringing; in most cases the reason is in irrational organization of the day, low level of independence, lack of cognitive processes. Usually fatigue and overwork of students, and also sharp decline of efficiency is a consequence of irrationality-organized mode of school day. It is believed that parents should watch the right organization of the daily regime of first-graders.
First of all, they should help to organize the regime of the school day. At every age period, the child's organism has its own features that should be considered. A first grader cannot hold attention for a long time; that is evidenced by the development of general anxiety. 15-20 minutes after preparing homework or starting a lesson, the child begins to be distracted, trying to return him to classes will soon be unsuccessful, since this reaction develops independently of the child's will, the child needs switching from one activity to another [3].
However, parents often do not differ from children by their organization, they are can be chaotic in business, which unwittingly accustom their children, others are too busy with work. In both cases, most of the time, free from school, the child dedicates to the so-called rest: watching TV, searching the computer, or just staggering down the street without a deal. All work which was accumulated during the day carry over to the evening when the parents return from work.
One of the daily problems of each first grade schoolchild is related to homework, schoolchild from the first grade must acquire the technique of independent work, to assimilate rational methods of labor organization.
However, many parents, instead of explaining to the child how correctly prepare a task only control its implementation, or substitute the child for work showing him mistakes, telling the correct answer, or simply doing all the work instead of children. Such «help» makes the whole process useless preparation of homework.
No less harm is brought by the other extreme, when parents believe that child with entering in school should automatically get independence and responsibility, school duties are eliminated from monitoring the performance. Such an educational orientation of adults is not promotes the formation of arbitrariness, responsibility, self-organization and self-control. Moreover, the underdevelopment of autonomy, suppression by adults of child’s initiatives, or removal from support of his actions leads not only to delay in development, but also to personal deformity of the child, increased anxiety, all possible fears, self-doubt, aggression.
Aggressive behavior of children is a call for help, for demonstration of attention to the child's inner world, in which too much destructive emotions has accumulated and the child cannot manage with them. The family can demonstrate aggressive behavior and provide its fastening. In such family, family members are more likely to behave aggressively to each other and to others, the family approves of the child's aggressive behavior. Herewith a father demonstrates aggressive behavior and the mother is not demanding towards the child. In this case, the parents of aggressive children do not try to ruin the reasons of children’s aggressive behavior .The main methods of education in such families are physical punishment and threats, lack of encouraging, deprivation of love and care [4].
A large number of studies have convincingly shown the addiction to negative relationships in the «parent-child» system, emotional deprivation in the family and child aggression. It is established, for example, that if a child has negative relations with one or both parents, trends of development of positive self-esteem and self-concept do not find support in parents’ assessment. Or if the child does not feel parents’ support and care, then the probability of delinquent, unlawful behavior increases substantially, relations with fellows worsen, aggressiveness towards own parents is appearing.
According to attachment theory, small children vary in degree feelings of security in their relationship with their mother. Reliably attached child has a reliable, stable and sensitive attitude from mother’s side. Such child trusts other people, has well-developed social skills, is inclined to constructive communication, and non-aggressive. Unreliably bound or worried about his attachment child is not talkative, resists control, is inclined to manifest physical aggression. Impulsive behavior, affective outbursts are related to such children. In addition, there is positive dependence between the severity of punishment and the level of aggression children. It extends to cases where punishment is a reaction of parents on the aggressive behavior of the child, being an educational measure, directed to reducing aggression. It was found that those children who were subjected to strict punishment from the parents’ side, showed a big aggression in their behavior and, accordingly, were characterized by classmates as aggressive [5].
Without the participation of parents, the independence of the younger schoolchildren in the organization of their workplace, in doing housework, in preparing their clothes and portfolio for tomorrow cannot be organized. Cultivation of independence is responsible and gradual work. It is often easier to do something by yourself, than wait until the child does. Sometimes the child's actions represent a real danger for him. Then the parents warn him: «Do not do it yourself, it's dangerous (hard), I'll do it for you». This wrong installation leads to «learned helplessness», the child's refusal in the future from any independent actions, unbelief in one's own strength. For what a parent should look after if he wants to help a child to learn? The most important task of parents during of studying process of a child is not to become a doubling teacher, but to remain parents accepting, understanding and loving their child, regardless of his school successes or failures.
Therefore, first of all, the parent should watch the level of child's independence in domestic affairs (including in the school homework). If before starting school the child has not acquired the techniques of independent dressing (for example, tying laces), putting them to bed, cleaning their «territory», brushing their teeth before going to bed, and etc., this is the first concern of the parent. Moreover, individual cases or actions of the child by this time can already carry out independently, without supervision of the adult and on own initiative. From the 1st of September, the preparing the table for doing homework; collection of portfolio, preparation of school uniform with the help of parents (or clothes and shoes, in which tomorrow the child will go to school) [5].
A couple may have difficulties with a small child; if they can’t manage with those problems, they will grow into a crisis when the child goes to school. On this stage of the problem, arise «partially because of what is going on within the complex family organization, but also because the child is increasingly employed outside the family». The family system often experiences pressure (in the form of feedback) from the external systems neighbors and schools. The family should learn how to communicate with these new systems for themselves. Rules, or boundaries, should allow contact with a non-family environment in order for the child to acquire his own experience in establishing relations. It is necessary to set new rules: How to help child with homework. Who should do this? How does it relate to school assessments? What should I expect from a child in school or at home? From that, as far as it is possible to agree on these and many other issues, depends the success of the family in this phase of the life cycle. With the removal of the people and the approach of middle age, parents also undergo physical and emotional changes. In addition, they usually experience stress and in connection with complicating their job duties at work.
At this stage, the couple has already formed certain patterns of communication. In some cases, they can interfere with a child's success in the outside world. Difficulties arise usually in the case when there is a split in the parent dyad. A typical problem is the union of one parent with a child against another parent. From the point of view of the father, the mother may be «too soft», while, according to the mother's opinion, the father is «too harsh». Such a perception can lead to, that every parent tries to save the child from another. The mother is overprotective child, experiencing frustration, and the father tries to stay away to finally «do not spoil the child». When the father tries to control the child (at a distance), the mother intervenes and softens the blow (undermining his father's efforts). This cycle repeats, none of the parents at the same time can affect the child, and both are angry at each other. If there is no other way of communication between parents, the child's bad behavior contributes to their unification (involvement in conflict) [6].
Often happens that simultaneously with the arrival of the child in school parents are engaged in their own affairs, for example, the search for a new job. Mothers, before busy with the child at home, return to their old job or find a hobby. Since the mother's time is getting shorter, it may be necessary that the father took over part of the household duties. Both can face a large emotional stress. If we agree on these issues. It is possible, there is a crisis (for example, depression, peptic ulcer, alcoholism, problems with study), which affects every member of the system.Parents, who do not achieve their goals in life, often devote themselves to children. Such parents tend to deny their own problems, focusing on the problem of child. In such cases, the child often has trouble in school. He vividly perceives the conflict and feels the need for affinity with one of the parents. The child may have somatic symptoms, signaling the need to be at home with them. Parents unite to overcome the crisis and push their differences to the background. Thus, the symptoms help the child stay in the center of attention, and help parents to avoid discussing their own problems and marital relationships. Psychotherapy can help parents not to pay attention to symptomatic complaints of the child (for example, a headache) and return him to normal life (that is, send to school) [7].
In the younger school age, there is an increase of the problems of mother and child relations. At the same time, the weight of intrapersonal problems and problems of interaction with people is reduced, and problems in learning are growing. This means that with the child's entry into the school, difficulties of parents with children are mainly associated with training activities. At this time, parents disturbed by the manifestations of the child's psychological immaturity, regressive tendencies, in his behavior, obstructive with learning and showing responsibility. At the same time complaints of antisocial behavior appear, reflecting the child's protest against pressure and new requirements.
The researchers in the field of child-parent relations highlight reflexivity as one of the most important personal qualities of a mother, with a reference to a constructive parenthood. In their opinion, the reflexivity allows to adequately take into account individual age characteristics of the child, awareness of the responsibility for his/her development, proceeding from the understanding of self-importance, determines the willingness to consciously seek the most effective style of individual education [8].
Entering to school is a turning point in the life of the child, changing in general hierarchy of his/her claims to recognition. Entering to school is a transition to a new lifestyle and working conditions, a new position in society, and new relationships with adults. The environment and changing social conditions distinguish personal development of the child. A new social status of a child is characterized by passing from the existence of the free from the constant duties, to the obligatory socially significant activity: he/she must learn. Now he/she is obeyed to a system of strict, mandatory for all school and school of general social rules. A changing of place in the system of public relations the transition of the status of a pupil, a schoolchild, creates a psychological situation openness of the child.
That is why the concept of «the readiness of a child to school» is a complex, multifaceted and covers all areas of the child's life. Thus, the essence, the structure and components of the child's readiness to learn define its basic criteria and parameters.
References
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- Vygotsky, L.S. (1992). Razvitie lichnosti i mirovozzreniia rebenka [Development of the personality and world outlook of the child]. Psikholohiia lichnosti – Psychology of personality, 1, 161–165 [in Russian].
- Ronina, T.A., Sterkina, R.B. (Eds.). (1990). Obshchenie detei v detskom sadu i seme [Communication of children in kindergarten and family]. Moscow: Pedahohika [in Russian].
- Osorina, V. (1998). Sekretnyi mir detei v prostranstve mira vzroslykh [Secret world of children in the world of adults]. Saint Petersburg: Piter [in Russian].
- Lisina, M.I. (1997). Obshchenie, lichnost i psikhika rebenka [Communication, personality and psyche of the child]. Moscow: Institut prakticheskoi psikholohii; Voronezh: NPO «Modek» [in Russian].
- Bozhovich, L.I. (1989). Lichnost i ee formirovanie v detskom vozraste [Personality and its formation in childhood]. Moscow [in Russian].
- Tonkova-Yampolskaya, R.V. et al. (Eds.). (2001). Vneshniaia sreda i psikholohicheskoe razvitie rebenka [External environment and psychological development of the child]. Moscow: Meditsina [in Russian].
- Bobneva, M.I. (2009). Sotsialnye normy i rehuliatsiia povedeniia [Social norms and regulation of behavior]. Moscow: Pravo [in Russian].