Each student of the university, not only the pedagogical faculty, should prepare for the creation of his own family, family relations, whose nature is influenced by the motives of creating a family. Every young person who marries must be ready for such changes in his life not only physically, but also socially (education, specialty, or continuation of higher professional education, Independent professional activity). The family is a small group based on marriage or blood relationship, the members of which are bound by the commonality of life, mutual moral responsibility and mutual assistance; It produces a set of norms, sanctions and patterns of behavior that regulate the interaction between spouses, parents and children, children among themselves. To achieve "durability" of the family, the future family man must possess pedagogical knowledge necessary in family life, the culture of family relations, the main methods and means of parents in the upbringing of children.
Among the leading universal values such as the presence of good and faithful friends, interesting work, the peaceful situation in the country, health, social activity, cognition, creativity, which are vital goals for students, love and a happy family life come first.
According to the hierarchy of basic needs, formulated by A.Maslow, which Rean A., Bordovskaya N., Rozum S. [1, p. 149], in their studies on the problems of motivation in the personality structure, after physiological needs (hunger, thirst, etc.). And the need for security (long-term survival and stability), the third place is the need for belonging and love: accession and acceptance. And only after it follows the need for recognition, self-actualization, realization of potential.
That is, according to the degree of relevance in the spiritual sphere of man, the need to have a close person close to one another, to create a happy family is the main one. The concept of human happiness, which every individual aspires, is inextricably linked with the existence of a solid and cohesive family, the opportunity to live a full moral and emotional-aesthetic life, successfully educate children, have an open and sincere communication within the family and a sufficient material level.
The family (according to Mudrik A.V.) is "a small group based on marriage or blood relationship, the members of which are bound by the commonality of life, mutual moral responsibility and mutual assistance; It produces a set of norms, sanctions and patterns of behavior that regulate the interaction between spouses, parents and children, children among themselves " [2, p. 91].
The fact that the family is the main institution for the formation and development of the personality is well known. No other educational institutions and organizations (school, university, etc.) do not exert such influence on the child as a native family. It is in it that a person spends a significant part of his life, where the foundation of his personality is laid, healthy self-esteem is formed, vitally necessary skills are developed to become a full and happy member of the family and society.
The vast majority of children grow up and are brought up in families. No one will give the child more love and care, will not try to instill in him all the best, than his family, relatives and close people. At the same time, if a child grows angry, withdrawn, hypocritical or with other defects of education, this is also the "merit" of parents and families. That is, how much the family has a positive impact on the child, as much as it can harm his upbringing. This applies not only to children from socially troubled families. And in socially well-off families, due to pedagogical illiteracy of parents, there are many serious problems: lack of spiritual and moral closeness of the parent and child, unfavorable psychological atmosphere, various approaches of the father and mother to the upbringing of children, various conflict situations, etc. As a consequence, serious defects in the upbringing of children in such families.
Each student of the university (not only the pedagogical faculty) should prepare for the creation of his own family, family relations, whose nature is influenced by the motives of creating a family. Every young person who marries must be ready for such changes in his life not only physically (puberty, readiness for harmonious sexual relations, etc.), but also socially (education, specialty, or continuation of higher professional education, Independent professional activity). That is, socially mature young people are fullfledged members of society, capable of performing various social roles (in this case a family man), aware of all the responsibility they take on themselves for each other, for children economically ready to create a family, that is capable of Self-financially support yourself and your family.
To create a strong and prosperous family, the ethical and psychological readiness of a young person for marriage is of particular importance, the most important of which is the awareness of the motives for marriage. A young man should clearly know who he is marrying, what kind of family he wants to have, what responsibility he is assigned to. He must understand that it will take a lot of effort, work, patience, knowledge, ability to self-education, a combination of self-esteem with respect for the spouse, parents, children, mastering the alphabet of raising children, etc. Grebennikov I.V. Divides the motives of marriage into two groups: moral and emotional motivation (in the first place), material incentives (in second place). He refers to the first group "love, commonality of views and interests, mutual sympathy, respect and friendship, external attractiveness, moral qualities, the desire to have children, a sense of loneliness, the likelihood of an early appearance of a child and others." To the material stimuli of marriage: "material security, the availability of living space for the future husband (wife), the desire to move to another city, the will of the parents" [3, p.64]. According to the survey of Grebennikov I.V. For 1991, material motives are found in 3-5% of respondents. Today, in the face of the complex social and economic situation in the country, the sharp social stratification of society, the diversity of material wealth, the cult of personal enrichment, young people, including students, are more concerned with the material side of family life. On the one hand, this is correct, a person should soberly and realistically assess their opportunities (or the possibilities of a future spouse) to ensure a decent life for the family, to solve the housing problem. But cases of creating a family from self-serving calculation are not uncommon. We must prepare students for family life, relying on moral regulators of family relations as the basis of harmony in the family.
Among the many necessary qualities that determine the "health" of the family Zheleznova L.B. Identifies three conditions [4]:
- The ability of the intruders to design an optimal and realistic model of their future family, its way of life, take into account the influence of the way of life and traditions of the parental families, housing and economic opportunities, sources of income and anticipated expenditures, as well as ways of implementing their joint plans for the
- Understanding the basics of the family's moral and psychological
- Awareness of the need to combine family and social
We will add to these three conditions knowledge of the fundamentals of pedagogy and the upbringing of children.
Mudrik A.V. In his works devoted to family and family education, identifies the following parameters of the family [2, p. 91]:
- Demographic – family structure (large, including other relatives, or nuclear, including only parents and children, full or incomplete, single-child, small or large).
- Socio-cultural – the educational level of parents, their participation in the life of
- Socio-economic – property characteristics and employment of parents at
- Technical and hygienic – living conditions, dwelling,
Family education is a complex system, the content, style and results of which largely depend on the level of the above-mentioned family parameters.
The upbringing of children in the family is a system of upbringing and education in the conditions of a specific family, the organization of which depends "first of all on the desires, pedagogical knowledge and skills of parents. The approximate behavior of the parents themselves, the rallying of the family as a collective around a joint purposeful activity, positive relations between family members positively affects this process "[5, p. 170].
The most important indicator of family upbringing is his style – "typical system for senior people and methods of interaction with younger ones. Depending on the measure of its "hardness-softness", the style can be defined as an authoritarian or democratic with a fan of intermediate variants"(Mudrik A.V.) [2, p. 95].
With the authoritarian style of family education, some members of the family (mostly adults) seek to subordinate others, build life within the family in accordance with their only true rules, strive for strict compliance with all their demands, ignore the interests and initiative of children. The usual methods of education in such a family: control, order, punishment.
Democratic style is manifested in the aspiration of adults to establish friendly relations, "on equal footing", welcome initiative, independence, attract to finding solutions to family problems and ways to achieve common goals.
In life, there are rarely families where there is purely authoritarian or purely democratic styles. Usually the style of family education tends to one of them. Or the father and mother have different approaches to education, one is closer to the authoritarian, the other – to the democratic one.
To achieve "durability" of the family, the future family man must possess pedagogical knowledge necessary in family life, the culture of family relations, the main methods and means of parents in the upbringing of children. And it is very important that he thinks about the essence of marriage and mastered the necessary knowledge before he ties himself up with family ties, so that later he does not learn from his own mistakes, some of which may have irreversible consequences.
References:
- Rean A., Bordovskaya N.V., Rozum S.I. Psychology and pedagogy. – St. Petersburg: Peter, 2004. – 432 p.
- Mudrik A.V. Social Pedagogy: Textbook. For stud. Ped. Universities / Ed. V.A. Slastenina – 4 th ed., Ext. – M.: Publishing Center "Akademiya", 2003. – 200
- Grebennikov I.V. Fundamentals of Family Life: Proc. Allowance for students ped. In-tov. – M.: Enlightenment, 1991. – 158
- Zheleznova L.B. Modern family: problems and prospects. // Materials of the scientific-practical conference of the Orenburg regional institute of professional development of educators. – Orenburg, 2000. – 359 р.
- Glickman I.Z. Theory and methods of education: Proc. Allowance for stud. Supreme. Training. Institutions. – Moscow: Publishing house VLADOS-PRESS, 2002. – 176